Big Brother
by FuckMePumps
Summary: He wasn't called The Avenger for nothing. After Itachi's death, Sasuke's just looking for someone else to blame. Uchihacentric, oneshot.


**Author's Note: **I tried to write this in several different ways, and went through a couple of drafts before scrapping everything and starting from scratch. I just felt that it was too good a scene to simply settle with what I first have. I hope you enjoy this, since even after all it put me through, I'm quite fond of it. The lyrics used are from 'Without You Here' by the Goo Goo Dolls.

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_that love could kill the pain, truth is never vain  
it turns strangers into lovers, and enemies to brothers  
just say you understand, I never had this planned_

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Darkness pooled from beneath his lids, sliding out from under flesh and slight cartilage. It oozed like pungent syrup, harrowing his vision, and in one instant panic sped up the ramming against his ribs. It couldn't be, that was merely an illusion, he was awake now…

Then, achingly slow, the tiniest speckle of bright tweaked amongst the thick shadows, and he fought against will and fate to regain his sight.

It wasn't so familiar, this place, and yet it was. Whatever view he had was reduced to frugality; it was too dim, too mystifying to make sense of his surroundings, yet there was a presence here, telling him he'd been there before. And not too long ago…

"So," a concise, patronizing drawl began, just ahead of him. "You've finally come."

He squinted, his mind in a dazzling search to match that voice with a face. It wasn't as if he hadn't already recognized it, for it wasn't one he wasn't to swiftly forget. But logic crossed into remembrance, stunting that possibility, because no, no, it can't be…

"Why so quiet, Sasuke?" It continued, and icy sweat glistened from the pores at his nape. "I'm not quite used to it."

The lingering amusement in that tone was unmistakable, and he could not help himself from blurting out, "You're dead."

And to be quite frank, he certainly _looked_ the part. It wasn't so different from the last time: the absence of his cloak, which usually hid his frame, the dishevel of his long, fine hair… and then there's the obvious. There was the menagerie of lacerations that seemed to dance upon his skin, the dirt and the cuts and the bruises smearing into one pale portrait of injury. And, those gashes of red—when congealed, maroon, and when fully desiccated, black—that brought color to it all.

But then he chuckled, smooth and deep from his stomach, and corpses weren't supposed to have a sense of humor.

"You are dreaming again, Otouto.

"I can only die if you kill me," it took on unheeded dryness, an unspoken challenge. "And I doubt you'll ever manage that. I might as well be _immortal_."

That was his blunder, whoever he was. He had just proven how human, how utterly wrong his words were. Because he _wasn't_ immortal, and he _was_ dead; Sasuke had seen it happen, had brought it about himself… and he had heard the truth.

And perhaps he was dreaming.

"Madara told me everything," he said as the horror and regret and disbelief returned to him, shook him from his bones. "I _know_."

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_my head lies to my heart, and my heart it still believes  
It seems the ones who love us are the ones that we deceive  
but you're changing everything, you're changing everything in me_

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The crossed expression of his big brother—for it was he, there could be no doubt of it—couldn't seem to decide between shock or a face that gleamed, almost deprecatingly, _'I should have had it coming.'_

No sounds pervaded the air as Itachi bowed his head, a smirk shaping his lips, his fingers deftly entwined.

"Well?" He tried, to no avail, to assault the silence. To his downright shame, it came out not even as a whisper, but a tremble. So weak, even after all this time. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

The protégée shrugged, unfazed, with a touch of ruefulness and endless amusement. "All right."

The avenger—former, that is—hitched his next inhale, in lieu of some explanation, some excuse, some goddamn peek into that cavernous mind…

"So," he said, interrupting each persisting thought. "No '_thank you_'s, hmm?"

Something suggested it was a joke, but Sasuke had waited, wasted half his life in search for answers. And the only person who really had them was cryptic, teasing as ever, even in this empty nonexistence.

"You left me," he retorted, brimming with conviction. An inkling of remorse suddenly, faintly, haunted his brother's face. He then lowered his stare to the ground, humiliated by the miasma that burned and blurred and threatened to drip onto his cheeks.

"You lied to me," he spat, hostility escaping through slits in his teeth. He wasn't looking, but he could almost feel the hunch of those proud and relaxed frame, the flinch that made him, amidst all gore and rot, seem vulnerable. For a second.

"You… you…" he grasped, fumbled, his fists waxing and waning at his sides. He had always just been so angry before, so blinded by hate, and it overcame any other emotion that dared to have crept closer. He didn't realize how much it hurt, tried not to think of it anymore… But now, everything else was gone, stripping him of his barricades and weapons, and it was the lonely ache of bitterness remained.

He hadn't been aware of it, but Itachi was suddenly there, twin palms ghosting over his shoulders, trying to stop him from shaking. There was something painfully familiar that crinkled the corners of his eyes, that wore the tiredness in his grin like a glove.

"You loved me," he breathed, the cries clogged in his throat, the roll of sobs moments too late. "You loved me, Nii-san."

And they both knew it was true.

It might as well have been years ago, and they might as well have eight and thirteen years old, and the world might as well have been young and vibrant. They might as well have been brothers, before all those things that came between them ever came.

A trickle of blood was drying, tracing the curve of his jaw, but Itachi kept smiling, softly, gently.

"You need to go back to your reality, Sasuke," he coaxed, and, laying no blame, "Sorry I left you so soon."

The echoes of his parting seemed muted, light fading in the gloom, and he clutched at those sleeves, fingers twisted in the fabric, not wanting to leave just yet.

He gripped so tight, and he was pleading _Stay, please stay here, _but dawn was rising, just as semblances of yesterday glimmered in his big brother's gaze. Just as he remembered how much,

"_I missed you, Nii-san."_

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_and now, now that you're near  
there's nothing more without you  
without you here_

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What first welcomed his wet and dreary eyes upon awakening were tendrils of warmth and sun shining amidst the branches overhead. Tangles of green and gold and brown, and when he blinked a flurry of leaves were swept by the wind, heading for tomorrow.

**Leaf.**

And it is on that splendid earthen morning that he decided just what he must do.

He had found the ones to blame, and they were going to _pay_.

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**Author's Note:**Please review, in memory of Uchiha Itachi.


End file.
